Just found this on the web, edited, of course:
Dallas (AP); Tuesday February 17th, 2009.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Following on the popularity of the “Survivor” series, as well as their companion series “The Great Race,” CBS Television announced a new version combining both shows, in next season’s “Survivor/The Great Race: Texas”
ROUTE: The contestants will all make a circle of the state of Texas of all major cities, starting in Dallas , then drive south to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, west to Houston and south to Brownsville. Contestants will then proceed up north along the Mexican border to Del Rio and El Paso , through the West Texas deserts through Midland, Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there they will go east to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas .
Each contestant will be driving a pink Volvo that runs on biodeisel (used french fry oil), and will have to stop and beg for french fry oil from crowded fast food places along their journey. Each vehicle will be adorned with five bumper stickers of their choice from the following, as well as one bumper sticker chosen by the judges:
1.) I Love the Dixie Chicks
2.) Boycott Beef
3.) Obama/Biden ’08
4.) Kerry/Edwards ’04
5.) Al Gore 2000
6.) George Strait Sucks
7.) Hillary 2012
8.) “I’m here to confiscate your guns.”
9.) Stop Illegal Immigration Now / Alto Immigracion Ilegal Ahora!”
The first one to make it to Dallas, driving no more than 55 mph in the left-hand (fast lane) lanes of the Interstate (alive) will be declared the winner. Contestants will be given full medical and dental benefits, as well survivor and death benefits.
In case of a tie (or boredom on the part of the judges), Contestants will have an elimination round where they will sing Karaoke at the famous Midnight Rodeo lounge in San Antonio on a Saturday night,choosing one of the following songs:
1) Chili’s “Baby Back Ribs” jingle.
2) “Who Let the Dogs Out”
3) “We Will Rock You”
4) Kit-Kat candy-bar jingle (“Gimme a Break …”)
6) “Whoomp, There It Is”
7) “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”
8) “It’s a Small World After All”
Additional points will be awarded by the judges for any song by Barry Manilow.
See, I’d even watch this, and all I watch is History and the Discovery Channel. Go CBS!