Frank J. Fleming at Pajamas Media takes a look at the blue-skies aspirations the Libs have for the new Supreme Court Justice, and find it reminds him of someone . . . familiar.
Now, I don’t know if that person is really out there and whether she’ll just come floating from the sky on her umbrella. But if she does exist, I’m sure Obama will find her.
And think of it: Justice Mary Poppins. Someone who doesn’t look at a law and see just the strict meaning of its words, but instead sees infinite possibilities. Maybe in a law on tort reform she can find a secret guarantee of laptops for poor kids! Maybe we won’t even need to pass legislation for universal health care, because she’ll find it within the laws we have, hidden with many clues like in a Dan Brown novel. Who knows what magical wonderment Justice Poppins will find next?
And she won’t be so narrow-minded as to make decisions based on what she finds only in American law. No, instead she’ll borrow law from magical cartoon lands and France. Maybe she won’t worry about laws at all and will instead base her decisions on newspaper articles or the consensus on Twitter. Or maybe she will take something from her imagination and make it our reality.
She will be able to take infinitely complex issues and break them down for us into a single opinion to settle things forever like Roe v. Wade. At the same time, she will be confused beyond belief by a simple statement such as “the right to bear arms shall not be infringed.” She doesn’t think like you and me; she thinks better.
And keeping in mind Mary Poppins, he’s set the requirements for our newest Liberal Justice to verse. You can even sing along if you like; I’ve put the video of the pertinent tune below:
THE PERFECT JUSTICE
(Sung to the Tune of “The Prfect Nanny” from Mary Poppins)
If you want this choice position
Please be a legal magician
Have empathy, have grace
Be a minority race.
Do not care for original meaning,
Find it legal if its left-leaning
Free the terrorists, legalize pot
Ban guns, Have Cheney shot
Must give gay marriage the nod
And remove all mentions of God
Always protect our right to choose
And make laws based on your views
You could be all our salvation
Force us to be a better nation.
Come and change our laws based on liberal pleas
So we don’t have to wait for democracy.
Hurry, Justice! We implore!
Victory needs just five to four.
Trust me; it’s damned near hilarious if you sing along. Try it — please!
And, of course, Read the article, which is pretty damned good in itself.